Lauren Conrad values my opinion

I Google myself sometimes--it's what I do to entertain myself at 3:30 a.m. when I cannot sleep. Well, ahem-ahem, of the first three search page results, there are two Lorraine Chows (and a sub link!) that are actually me. I will let you guess which ones. Oh, and sorry, only close friends were invited to the wedding.

On page four, this search result caught my attention. It's a really bad article about Lauren Conrad's new fashion collection. Ugh. Anyway, this quotation caught my eye:

"The clothes were really, really cute," said Lorraine Chow, 19, of Irvine. "I thought it was really cool that Lauren Conrad would do a show out here and not just in Hollywood."

I mean, who could deny the fashion ferocity of one such femme fatale from The Hills? But sadly, the opine from name-twin is hers alone. I'm not 19, I'm not from Irvine, and I would never say anything so asinine.

But as I read on, the following quotation tickled my sleep deprived knotty dendrites. It reads thusly:

Chow's friend, Vy Tran, agreed. "I would buy all of the clothes if I could afford it," said Tran, 19, of Irvine. "Especially the blue, one-shouldered dress."

Wait, WHAT?? I went to high school with a girl named Vy Tran.

Coincidence? What are the chances? How many Lorraine Chow and Vy Tran combos can there possibly BE in this dimension? Let alone two in relatively close proximity, who are the same age, and reside in mostly Asian cities?

Or MAYBE (and this is just some liberal speculation) LC's clothing line is bad enough to warrant at least TWO source fabrications.

Zounds. I'm leaning towards the latter. Made up, fo' sho. No one likes Lauren Conrad or her clothing.

So here's to you, Conrad. Go ahead, smear my name to further your opportunism. I don't care because I have faith in fact-based, ethical journalism, and I know my supporters will see through your truth-stretching and slanderous intentions and I will rise victoriously. It would be futile for me to stop it because some people will believe anything the media tells them these days, even if it's made up. Ask McCain supporters; I'm sure they all agree your fashion line was really, really cute.

It is now 4:26 a.m. I will now Google images of fuzzy ducklings.