m.i.a.

I came here because I wanted to escape from the comfort and familiarity of home, and be on my own for awhile. But unless I'm commuting on the train or, like now, in bed right before I go to sleep, I have had zero time for myself. I want just one day to get settled and discover Beppu City for myself. I don't even have time to vacuum or decorate these sad, empty walls because the job and other obligations come in the way. I have no energy to learn Japanese because I'm so busy. I haven't had the chance to figure out how to beat my cold. And now, with my new phone which I hate and love equally, I have another device connecting me to the world. I feel that if I'm not surrounding myself with people and loading up on plans then I'm missing out and wasting time. All I really want, just for a little bit, is to soak it all in. And clean my barren, dusty apartment. And get some toilet paper.